Actually, I’m not really interested in decreasing anxiety. I’m interested in increasing an ability to remain calm. I am interested in increasing humble confidence. To be at peace. To be prepared. To understand what I can control, and to know that I can learn whatever it is that I don’t know yet.
I'm interested in real life lessons. I'm interested in sharing with you that "failure" is our greatest opportunity to grow and it will shape us far more than the victories.
Bottom line: Anxiety is a real emotion. It is valid. It is part of life. So to assume we should just tell it to go away is like telling you to stop being human. Your athletes need to feel nervous because that is a reflection of how much they care. Parents and Coaches... same to you. Your athletes will feel nervous before a test at school, or later at a job interview, or before a big business negotiation, and so on. Learning how to handle it is a direct benefit of youth sports at all levels! Feel it, and USE it for good!
The Key: Instead of expecting or wishing anxiety will go away, embrace what you can control about it. Anxiety is only damaging if we don't get intentional about what it really means. The term "anxiety" has a negative connotation because it can so easily be an uncomfortable feeling or a debilitating feeling... so here's how to change all that and use it for good:
1) Take responsibility for the meaning you assign to those nerves. As a parent, an athlete, or a coach, you are responsible for the voices you allow in your head. If you are a parent or coach, acknowledge the nerves while you model the calm yet intense focus that you want. They will do what you do, not what you say. Teach them that those butterflies mean opportunity for greatness. These nerves are a beautiful part of fight or flight reflexes that can make you stronger, faster, mentally sharper, and simply all-around better.... IF you teach/learn to use these feelings to center you instead of scatter you. The clutch teams know this and use this to their advantage.
2) You are already equipped. As a parent and coach, this is critical to know and teach. Every athlete has their own set of unique gifts and talents. They might be the star position player, but they also might be last in the lineup but the one who brings the most believe into the culture of the team. Research of the top world leaders and successful CEOs know this, so they play to their own strengths, while they allow the rest of the team to play to theirs. Find ways for every athlete to contribute... which is very different than everyone gets a trophy or everyone gets to play all the time. (you'll see more on our position on that philosophy in other articles, courses, and conversations).
3) Championships are won in practice. The important thing to know here is that everyone in every role has done everything they can to prepare for the big moments. Prepared athletes are confident athletes. They don't ever have to wonder if they can win- they know they can win before game day. They practiced so much that they know they can't get it wrong. Regardless of how amazing a competitor may be, the best teams practice for first place. After that, the final ranking doesn't even matter... for the most part.
You'll hear us say it frequently: Youth sports should be fun. If you allow anxiety and stress to take on the wrong meaning for any athlete, it is no longer fun. Parents and coaches, you play a HUGE role in this in practice and at home. You'll find that teaching your athletes to embrace and manage these feelings will also serve your own nerves. Remember, your goal is not just to help them "handle" this week's game or next month's tournament. Your goal is to build them into a solid contributor to this world who can handle real-life stresses. They exist now and long after their sporting days are done. Build them into that kind of leader- your sport is just a great vehicle to drive you there.
Here's to building confident, able Leaders for Life™
Thanks for visiting the L3 Blog!
We're twins from Texas. We were born nearly 3 months prematurely and were never supposed to live through our first night. And that was just the beginning. Together and as individuals, we've conquered a severe disability, near homelessness, rejection, single-motherhood, cancer, and more... in order to become global entrepreneurs, speakers, Olympic torch bearer, All-American and world champion athletes, and joyful moms.
Now, our daily goal is to be a blessing to you and to be a catalyst for good. Sports, Parenting and Coaching rank way up there on the list of what we love, so that's why Lead Love Legacy started. We're here to teach you how to be a leader and how to build high performing leaders for life at home, on the field, and far beyond. To read our full bio, click here.
Feel free to share our content if it is meaningful to you, but only via links to our site. If you'd like us to be a guest or if you want to use our work in any other way, please contact us here for details.
Additionally, many of our posts include lessons from our virtual classes or private curriculum. If you like this blog post, you'll LOVE the entire course offering. Have a look...
Stay connected with news and updates!
Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from our team.
Don't worry, your information will not be shared.
We hate SPAM. We will never sell your information, for any reason.
