Here’s the thing.
Adversity is like dryer sheets. You can choose Downy or you can choose Bounce.
In sports and in life, adversity and challenge and hardship are just part of it. We do what we can to avoid it, of course. But sooner or later, it shows up. Sometimes in little bursts, and sometimes all-at-once-for-crying-out-loud, it just DUMPS on us. No warning. No mercy. And often, with terrible timing.
Reality check: Adversity IS going to happen. You can’t avoid it, so you might as well learn to face adversity like a champion and use it to your advantage. Here’s what you need to know and own to be successful with adversity as a coach, parent, or athlete:
Failure is part of all sport and all life and thank God for that.
The bad news is that we can’t avoid adversity.
The good news is that we can’t avoid adversity.
Why? Because when we handle it right, it makes us better. Stronger. Smarter.
More efficient.
More powerful.
More impactful.
More authentic.
And the success means more, lasts forever, and is more fun.
Knowing adversity is a part of life allows us to recognize it as a TOOL for success rather than a non-movable road block. Once you can own that, you’ll begin to be able to use the tool for good rather than be frozen by fear or frustration or circumstance of adversity. It allows you to create an action plan that you can implement systematically. It allows you to move forward. Remember this the next time you are down in the game, you are the underdog, you have an injury, or you make an error in the game.
Recognize that recovery matters.
This isn’t just about dealing with adversity. It’s about recovering from it well. The extent of recovery and the speed at which you can do this will make a huge impact on your overall experience in sport, relationships, career, and life. Know that you have to use your tools, approach systematically, and be on purpose that you will recover well and fast. You have to decide you will not just stand there. Have an established recovery ritual (we talk more about that in the L3 Membership).
Think about any adversity in your life right now and ask yourself these key questions as a starting point to getting on purpose about recovering from the setbacks and adversities in your life:
What does overcoming this challenge really look like? (Be specific, dig deep).
What results will I see?
What results will others be able to see in me?
What changes will happen in my life when I overcome this challenge?
What changes do I need to make to move towards that challenge?
What am I willing to do about it?
What am I willing to drop or no longer do to overcome this?
What action can I take today to start the process of overcoming this challenge?
Who can I enlist to help me overcome?
How you perceive failure matters.
Not only do you need to recognize the tools, but you also need to see the big picture with productive perspective. This is what sets tone for how you bounce back. Sometimes the adversity in our lives is amplified by our own perceptions and mirrors. Is it really a big deal, or are you making it one unnecessarily? For example, does the fact that you’ve not won a race in a long time matter a year from now? 5 year? 10 year? Or does it give you fuel to work harder and look at technique and be more coachable or more disciplined? Those are skills that will make a positive impact on your life for years to come. And nobody will remember your race record unless you choose to remember it yourself and tell them. And really, there’s no need for that, either.
As a parent or coach, you can help your athletes/children keep balance and perspective in these situations of adversity. Some are smaller than the example above, and some are much, much bigger, real life-impacting things. So don’t minimize that. But do build communication that keeps balance of perspective. Open conversations and calm approach can help balance the very real and valid emotional aspects of adversity. The trick is to learn to feel the emotion and find perspective that is productive to keep moving forward.
And here’s the bottom line:
Adversity isn’t the end. It’s the beginning. It’s the beginning of the next chapter for you as an athlete, coach, or parent. The little challenges and the life-changing ones are all the same in that how we choose to navigate them will dictate the starting path of the next chapter. Here’s to choosing perspective, being on purpose, and bouncing back.
As always, we're cheering you on,
Thanks for visiting the L3 Blog!
We're twins from Texas. We were born nearly 3 months prematurely and were never supposed to live through our first night. And that was just the beginning. Together and as individuals, we've conquered a severe disability, near homelessness, rejection, single-motherhood, cancer, and more... in order to become global entrepreneurs, speakers, Olympic torch bearer, All-American and world champion athletes, and joyful moms.
Now, our daily goal is to be a blessing to you and to be a catalyst for good. Sports, Parenting and Coaching rank way up there on the list of what we love, so that's why Lead Love Legacy started. We're here to teach you how to be a leader and how to build high performing leaders for life at home, on the field, and far beyond. To read our full bio, click here.
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